Two months old

Dear Samara,

Today you hit two months. I can’t believe that so much time has already gone by. It really does just feel like a week ago that I was in the delivery room and having you held up to me. Such a teeny tiny little baby you were, and I look at you now and think how big you are, when in reality, you are still just the size of an average newborn. It makes me both sad and glad that you are small.

Every single day I think I couldn’t possibly love you more than I do, but then I wake up and go into your room in the morning and I am overwhelmed with how much I love you that sometimes I just stop breathing – so scared that the moment will go away. I couldn’t bare to not have you in my life, and I feel so privileged that the universe chose me to be your mother. I just hope that I can make you as proud of me, as I know I will always be of you.

So this month you have learned how to do the following things:

1. Smile! I saw your first smile on the 1st September. I’d seen little stirrings before that, and I could have sworn that I’d seen them before, but really, I have to believe your dad – they were gas smiles – not the real smiles that I now get to see. And boy, do you have the cutest smile ever. It lights up your face and it makes everyone else who sees it smile right along with you.

2. Wriggle. You, my dearest, are such a wriggler! We put you down on your tummy time mat and in no time at all you’ve managed to wriggle your way around to a completely new spot – most times, right off the edge of your mat. You can’t roll yet, but you can certainly move.

3. Whinge. Oh yes, you are one of the best whingers ever. If we put you down, and you don’t want to be put down, you let us know in no uncertain terms. Loudly.

4. Grabbing things. You have now discovered how to use your hands to hold things. You’re not so keen on holding toys, but you love to hold our fingers when we are feeding you. You’ve also become quite fond of grabbing my hair and holding on to it and pulling it. Quite hard. And you just don’t let it go either. It’s your hair and you’re prepared to fight for it.

5. Just over the last couple of days, you have started to gurgle. Sweet little noises that show your pleasure (or displeasure) in the most mundane things – apparently the wall next to your change table is the most amazing and fascinating thing you have ever seen.

Oh and how you’ve grown. In the last month, you’ve grown out of all your teeny tiny little 00000 onesies and outfits. You’re now into your 0000 suits. And some of these you are already starting to grow out of. Slow down baby girl, slow down, you’ve got plenty of time.

Your sleep however, could use some work. Daddy and I love you so very much, but really, we love our sleep as well. We would also love to be able to get some things done during the day. But you really don’t embrace your sleep. You tend to take little catnaps during the day – the mornings are your best time to sleep, and the only time I really manage to get anything done. The afternoons, you like to just be held. And held. And cuddled. All. The. Time. I never knew quite how draining it could be, being stuck to the couch, unable to move, unable to quickly duck off to the toilet, without a little banshee starting up her cry, seconds after she’s been put down.

We were going through this with you at night also, but we’ve since discovered lavender oil. That, has become our saviour. We give you a bath every night in the oil and you do love it (you really do love your baths – you so totally take after me!), and you splash your legs around and soak up all that lavender goodness. Then we get you out, give you a feed and off to bed. Finally, you’re sleeping for up to 6 hours which is blissful. But even better, the last couple of nights we have actually been able to put you into your cot before 11pm without the banshee starting again, and you’ve gone to sleep. We’re crossing our fingers that you keep this up, we really do love our sleep – we do hope that you will come to share that same love – soon(ish).

I can’t wait to see what other things you learn over the next month, and to see how much you grow, even though I dread it at the same time. Part of me can’t wait to see you grow up, but the other part of me, just wishes that I could keep you this small forever.

Love you to the moon and back and all the stars in between,

Mummy.

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